What a revelation. God wants me to be a schmuck. He wants me to live in that space where I wave hi to someone only to realize they are waiving at someone behind me. THAT feeling. That's the feeling here wants me to have.
I'm ok with that. If that's what it takes to do his will I'm willing. It takes the edge off knowing that's how he wants me to feel.
It's important for me to seek that feeling. I need to feel that awkwardness, the fumbling, that generally looking like a boob. Why?
Ego deflation, baby. It's all about the ego deflation. Complete and utter ego deflation. This is also know as humility. Being humble enough to look like a schmuck. Not take myself so seriously. Being willing to do the right thing even if I don't look like I have it all together.
Where? If I need to seek this feeling, where?! Where do I find that feeling. One word. Service. Being of service to my family. Being of service to my fellows. Being of service to anyone at all I can reach out to. Reach out to see if they need a hand.
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